I may not like a lot of things that have happened in
my life. But even some of the worst times have led me to become the person I am
now. I wouldn’t be as strong as I am, if I had not been through what I have
been through. So, when the question comes up that if you could go back in time
and change one thing what would it be, I hesitate to say I would change
anything. If I didn’t have that experience, who’s to say some things I’m proud
of would have ever happened either?
However, if there were one lesson I could teach my
younger self, or one thing I can pass on to another person so they could avoid
the kind of mistakes I made, it would be this:
It is NOT selfish to take care of yourself.
A counselor a long time ago used the gas tank analogy.
If you keep siphoning off your gas without ever refilling your own tank,
eventually you’ll have no gas to give anyone else and both of you will have
empty tanks. Another example I hear often is that there is a reason the safety
briefing on a plane tells you to put your own air mask on first before helping someone
else.
In our society, we’re taught that putting yourself
first is selfish; it’s a bad thing. Although it is not gender specific, women
often are more susceptible to this because we’re taught to put our families’
needs above our own, especially if you have children.
I am not talking about acting as if the world revolves
around you and your needs. “Me, me, me” and “What do I get out of it” without
caring about others, that IS selfish. I’m talking about making sure you can
help others by seeing to your needs, too. And sometimes that does mean putting
yourself first.
Let me give you a couple scenarios.
You don’t eat well or exercise and you have health
issues because of that. That means you physically can’t play with your
kids/grandkids without getting winded, or go hiking with your significant other
without having to stop every few minutes. Or maybe it means you are at a higher
risk for a heart attack. What happens to your family when you have one? In that
case, then, when you exercise you are doing it not only for you, but also so
you can be here for them. (Bonus if you have kids, you’re teaching them how to
live a healthy life, too.)
You say yes to every function or committee your church
needs people for. Sounds generous, right? Sounds like what you “should” do. But
stretching yourself that thin, trying to do that many things, means you get
tired, don’t do any of them well, and probably are not giving joyfully. You may
even start to resent “having to do it all". Who does that benefit? Wouldn’t it
be better, then, to commit to fewer tasks at a time, but doing each one well?
And wouldn’t that, in turn, be a bigger benefit to whatever organization you
work for or are giving your time to?
It’s time we learn that if we don’t take care of
ourselves, we won’t be able to take care of anyone else. If we take care of our
needs so that we CAN help others in some way, that is far from selfish.
What is one thing you wish you could teach either your
younger self or someone else today?